Rhulan vs The Hulk
by Rhuen
Summary: She is a reality hopping sorceress who has never before encountered anyone that so outmatched her physically before; and he is a green hued being of pure rage who doesn't much care for being called a troll.


"So you are the strongest life force on this world?" says Rhulan hovering before the giant green muscular man in the middle of the desert, "a troll?"

"Hulk no troll," says the Hulk, "Hulk is Hulk, rrrrr."

He takes a few steps towards her, fists and teeth clenched.

"All threats will be treated in kind," says Rhulan, "now be gone beast, Thunder Cannon!"

A beam like blast of lightning erupts from her hand shooting the Hulk square in the chest, the jade giant steps back, growls and lunges at her.

"Spirit Shield." Says Rhulan her hand outstretched raising a barrier of spiritual energy.

*kra-koom!*

The Hulk's fist meets her shield, and the next thing Rhulan knows she is flying backwards and smashing into a rock, shattering the stone.

"Shit," says Rhulan leaning forward shaking her head, "what the…oh shit!"

The Hulk is barreling down on her and *zip* she vanishes in a short ranged burst of speed as the behemoth's massive fist splinters the rock where Rhulan had been.

Up above, Rhulan looks down studying the beast, her eyes glowing blue, "what the hell are you?" she murmurs.

"Raaaah!" roars the Hulk leaping far into the air and grabbing Rhulan by the feet, his speed for his size and jumping height of over a hundred feet taking the sorceress by surprise.

*crack!* the Hulk slams her into the stone ground of the desert like a club, lifts her into the air and smashes her into the ground again with another very loud *crack*.

Rhulan's eyes blaze with an inner fire as she kicks her legs free, surprising the Hulk. She grist her own teeth *growling* her body glowing with an eerie blue flame. She lunges at the Hulk, smashing her fist into his face with a right hook, a left hook, and then a palm strike to the chest sending the Hulk back a few feet, but by no means off his feet.

"Magic lady strong," says the Hulk, "but Hulk strongest there is!" He raises both fists and brings them down above Rhulan.

"Teleport!" says Rhulan, this time vanishing and appearing above one of the few clouds in the desert sky.

She rubs her shoulder, "shit," she whispers to herself, "that thing is too damned strong for a frontal assault, and fast. The second I try a spell it could be on me before I finish."

She clinches her sore fists hissing from the unfamiliar ache, "and built like a bloody mountain."

"No!" she shouts in her own head, "I am Rhulan the Sorceress! I have taken down armies, bio-ships, giant mech-suits and robots designed to destroy cities; I can handle one miserable little monster…just have to find its weakness."

She whispers a simple spell and turns invisible, hovering down above the huffing giant as he smashes more boulders growling, "where magic lady go? Weakling coward hide from Hulk!"

Her eye twitches, her lip curls, her pride wanting her to appear and smash the brute in the face with her fist. She shakes her head, and her eyes glow blue.

"Lets take a look at your aura," says thinks to herself, she narrows her eyes, "what is this…what are you?"

She smiles and appears right in front of the Hulk. Just as the Hulk is raising his fist she thrusts her hand, glowing with a spinning blue flame into the Hulk's face while shouting, "Psionic Dagger!"

A flash of light, and stillness; to an outside observer both combatants have stopped moving. The wind still blows, the tumble weeds still roll along with the wind. But The Hulk stands frozen like a statue, hand raised, Rhulan too is just floating there her right hand at the Hulk's face, her left on the side of his head, both glowing blue.

A strange place, darkness all around and a giant chess board, three pieces, one is a small skinny man as a pawn, there is a king that looks like the Hulk with a beard, and another that looks like the Hulk. A distinct *roar* from behind cues Rhulan to duck to the side with a roll and release a double handed plasma beam at the rampaging green man who tried to attack her from behind throwing him over the side. He jumps back up almost instantly.

"As I thought," says Rhulan, "you are not unlike a werewolf, although I was not expecting a whole crew of characters in this mind. Guess your true self has a thing for chess."

"Hulk true, Hulk self!" roars the Hulk.

"Hulk likes saying his name," says Rhulan.

"Now let's get this party started," she waves her hand and the pieces come to life.

"Who's the babe," says the Grey Hulk.

"You should not be here," says the large green one with a beard.

"Why," says the skinny man, "why would you endanger the world by destabilizing the hulk again? These, us…we.."

"Ungrateful human.." growls Rhulan.

"Hulk smash!"

Rhulan raises her hand, stopping the Hulk's fist.

"How?" says the Hulk, "magic lady not strong."

He raises his fist and pounds some more, Rhulan blocking each strike as though a mere baby were trying to fight her.

"The mind," says Rhulan, her voice echoing everywhere, "is linked to the Astral plane, in the physical world your body outmatches mine, but in here I need not chant incantations, in here I am like the goddess of life and death."

She flicks her finger and the Hulk is blasted away by a massive energy blast.

The large bearded Hulk is now sitting in a chair smiling. The Grey one shouts, "Ha, now I am the Hulk!"

-in the physical world the Hulk shrinks and turns grey.

"I think not," says Rhulan, as a strange black wolf with tusk like dorsal blades coming from its shoulders manifests and lunges at him, throwing them both off the side of the chess board.

-in the physical world the Hulk grows, turns green and grows a beard.

The bearded Hulk rises up.

"No," shouts Bruce Banner, "you don't know what you are doing lady, those hulks weren't intelligent but this one."

"Shut up," says this last Hulk as he backhands Bruce Banner off the side of the board.

"Okay," says the intelligent Hulk, "thanks, who ever you are, but I think you need to get out of my head. He grimaces and the area shakes and ripples. Rhulan can actually feel herself being expelled from this mind, as though the mind and body were one, sharing the same impossible strength."

"No!" comes a new voice, and a flash of light, appearing now is Dr. Strange.

"By the eye of Agamotto," he says I have seen all that has transpired here, "miss I do not know why you have attacked my friend and fellow Defender, or who sent you, but you have only caused more trouble. By the Vishanti I summon the will of the all seeing mind to return the Hulk's mind to its proper place!"

With a gesture a blue wave appears, the other two hulks appear on the board, as does Bruce Banner, the hulks become chess pieces while Banner remains. The bearded hulk however is not going down with out a fight, he struggles against the magic, even pushing it back.

"I am strongest!" he shouts, "I am smartest!", "I…AM….THE HULK! AAAAAHHH!"

With a mighty flex of mind and body the magic is pushed back, as is Dr. Strange. Rhulan observes and says, "Well boy, I was trying to exorcise this mind and keep only that man alive in here. I was going to restore his core. But if you want that original monster then so be it."

Rhulan waves her wrist and manifests a Katana with a blue blade engraved with strange symbols, "Sword of Dreams," she says, "Crafted into existence by the Dream Weaver herself, by thy blade no creation of the mind may survive."

She lunges at the bearded Hulk, he attempts to strike her, but her blade not only pierces his fist but makes it come apart in blue sparks.

Bruce Banner falls to his knees grabbing his head in anguish.

"No," shouts Dr. Strange, "each part is a piece of Banner's soul you can't…"

His words are too late as the Dream Blade pierces the heart of this avatar of the Hulk, and erases it from existence, vanishing like little blue petals in the wind.

Back in the physical world, Rhulan stands over the now unconscious body of Bruce Banner.

"huh," says Rhulan, "those must be some weird elastic in those pants to shrink with him after all that."

A portal appears and from it Dr. Strange, followed by The Silver Surfer arrive.

"You," says Dr. Strange, "you severed a piece of Dr. Banner's soul, there is no telling what damage you have caused."

She looks at him, her eyes showing not a lick of concern.

"Do you not care," says the Silver Surfer, "that you may have shortened a good man's life?"

"A good man?" says Rhulan, "I saw only a raging monster, that had I not been as strong as I am would have killed me with out remorse. Consider yourselves….and him…lucky that I let him keep his impudent tongue and foolish head….and what monsters remain inside it."

She begins to fly off.

"Stop," says Dr. Strange a yellow net of energy appearing above her.

"Who are you?" says Dr. Strange, "why did you attack the Hulk? What do you want here?"

"I…" says Rhulan while she waves her arm through the net, it vanishing, being sucked into her aura, something that surprises Dr. Strange, "have no reason to answer any questions from the friends of such a beast. However as per my status I will tell you, my name is Rhulan, I am known as the Sorceress by some, the Celestial Sorceress by others. As for your monster, it barked too loudly and bared its teeth at me; I do not tolerate such things, and a simple whap on its nose sent it into a blood frenzy. I suggest you keep that beast on a tighter leash…sorcerer."

With that Rhulan opens a portal and vanishes.

The Silver Surfer says, "A gateway between universes, what random act of the Multi-verse was this that would come to this one small blue world."


End file.
